Life and Emotions Are Not Divided Into Sections, But This Blog Entry Is: Part 1

Oftentimes in my life, I have tried to categorize or compartmentalize particular emotions and the situation that caused those emotions, into different little sections. “The hurt I am feeling from this particular instance with so-and-so will go neatly in this little corner of my mind, while I tuck away the stress I am feeling about taking this test for my class on the other side over there…” and so forth. I learned two valuable lessons from this.

First, the way that I thought that I was “handling” my emotions was in all reality, just hiding them. Facing your emotions always puts you in a position of vulnerability and is often downright terrifying. I was afraid of what would happen if I let myself feel those emotions, and it was my way of feeling like I had some sort of control of my life when I no longer had any sort of control over the situations that brought up said emotions in the first place. I couldn’t let myself cry; it would have been a sign of weakness. Any anger I felt, I automatically pushed it aside. Being angry wouldn’t change anything and could cause me to say or do things I never meant to in the first place. The list of emotions goes on and on, as does the metaphorical line up of moving boxes I would pack them in, shipping them as far away from myself as I possibly could. You know what I discovered?

Ignoring your emotions doesn’t stop them from existing or make them go away.

True, none of these emotions would change the situation I was in. But stopping myself from crying didn’t change the reality that I was sad, and putting on the façade that I was not angry did not make the anger disappear. Eventually, those feelings began to seep through into other aspects of my life. That’s when I decided to make a change.

So, if you should ever find yourself doing the same thing: if you need to cry, let yourself cry! Pull out that well-used, most-beloved hoodie you use to cuddle up on bad days, put on that sad song, chick flick, or whatever else it is you do when you need to have a good cry.

While I think it ill to let your anger out on another person, I still think you need to find a way to release that anger. Write a letter to the person you are angry with, read it out loud, then rip it up and throw it away when you are through. Burn that sweater he gave you that you never want to wear again. Go on a long drive and vent to the open road about that really long day at work. Have a good long chat with God about the things weighing upon your soul. Whatever it is that will allow you to feel, and more importantly let go of that anger, do it.

That being said, once you have let yourself feel it, don’t dwell on it. You have better things to be doing with your life than to be giving that feeling and that painful situation more attention than it deserves.